![]() Characters will often sing only a few lines of their respective songs and then, suddenly, these set-pieces are over as soon as they begin. Old standbys like “When You Wish Upon a Star” and a handful of new tunes penned by Glenn Ballard and composer Alan Silvestri are handled in an incredibly awkward fashion. That absence of a pulse also infests the various musical numbers. It’s all emblematic of a movie that functions as a mechanical recreation of old cinema that fails to understand why people got attached to these stories or images in the first place. Without any of Pinocchio’s foibles around to give these sequences some thematic heft, though, they just ring as hollow echoes of the past. Without any room for this character to grow, there’s no dramatic tension in the storyline.Įven worse, Zemeckis and Weitz’s screenplay still wants to indulge in all the familiar set-pieces of the original Pinocchio movie. There’s no coming-of-age character arc to drive the plot, nor have the screenwriters come up with striking and new themes to hinge the script on. When the puppet gets to the debauchery of the latter location, he doesn’t even do anything wicked beyond sipping some root beer. ![]() In this version, Pinocchio is a passive figure jostled around by other people to places like Stromboli’s circus or Pleasure Island. ![]() The original Pinocchio was not a dark anti-hero, but he could mess up, be impulsive, or act like a real flawed kid. There’s a dissonance in the writing of Pinocchio, as Zemeckis and Weitz hew as closely as possible to the original 1940 film’s story structure while revamping the lead character to be as clean-cut and perfect as possible. This type of comedy gets more restrained once Pinocchio is ensnared by Stromboli, but this is also where the tediousness of the film becomes apparent. This part of the story has all kinds of inexplicable modern gags aimed at adults, like Honest John ( Keegan-Michael Key) attempting to woo Pinocchio over to the life of an actor by invoking the name of Chris Pine and claiming he could be as famous as “an influencer.” Such jokes don’t fit a movie rooted in the 19 th-century and largely trying to channel the straightforward fairy tale aesthetic of the original film. The first act of Pinocchio’s script, penned by Zemeckis and Chris Weitz, seems to be setting viewers up for something truly cringe-inducing. This sets our puppet protagonist on a lengthy journey to explore all the ways a person’s life can go morally astray. After trying and failing to get into school, Pinocchio thinks he’s found a way to live up to those traits by becoming a performer for the wicked Stromboli (Giuseppe Battiston). To become “a real boy,” he must exhibit characteristics that are brave, unselfish, and true. Pinocchio (Benjamin Evan Ainsworth) is now a real wooden boy, and one who will need Jiminy Cricket to serve as his conscience.Ĭoming to life may have been a miracle, but that was only the first step on Pinocchio’s journey. After wishing on a star that his puppet could be a living breathing boy, The Blue Fairy ( Cynthia Erivo) appears to make that desire a reality. This isn’t just a new toy, but rather a stand-in for the child Geppetto lost years earlier. Combining this director with a live-action take on one of Disney’s most beloved animated movies results in a production that goes about as well as you’d expect, though you might be surprised by how lethargic the entire enterprise is.Īfter some irritating opening meta-dialogue from narrator Jiminy Cricket ( Joseph Gordon-Levitt), Pinocchio focuses its gaze on woodcarver Geppetto ( Tom Hanks) creating a little puppet boy named Pinocchio. But titles like The Polar Express and Welcome to Marwen have made the prospect of new Zemeckis movies something to dread rather than anticipate. This filmmaker’s enormous contributions to blockbuster entertainment can never be erased and he’s still capable of occasionally churning out a solid movie, like Flight. If the track record of movies like The Lion King and Alice in Wonderland isn’t enough to make you discouraged about the prospects of Pinocchio, it’s worth remembering that this is also a Robert Zemeckis directorial effort made after 2001. And it absolutely will not stop… ever, until you are dead! Or until it only has Pocahontas and Home on the Range left to turn into live-action features, whichever comes first. ![]() It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. The Mouse House’s newest excuse to print money can’t be reasoned with. It’s the latest in a long line of live-action remakes of classic Disney cartoons.
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